I had an interesting sensation yesterday that I want to share with you. I have really felt a huge difference with the few pounds I've lost. My aches are dimmed and my energy increased. My self-image changed. I felt thin again...
Then we took a picture in my class yesterday
To say I was disappointed would not be wholly correct. Sure, it was a stark reminder, a necessary shot of realism.
I'm a big woman, and that's OK.
But that's only have of what I got from this. The other half is a reminder of what I'm aiming for. When I was thin a couple of years ago, I felt it. I felt attractive and special, unique and just plain good. In order to not drag myself down over the last few years, I gave myself credit for having babies. This is what my body is for and to avoid having children just to look good is selfish and prideful.
So, I'm a big woman, and that's OK.
Remembering being thin, remembering thinking I'm beautiful, remembering the power of my smile... that was what I got from this experience. This goal of feeling that way again, not just the numbers, but really feeling these things again, that is what this journey is about.
Admittedly, I'm a big woman, and that's OK.
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